Saturday, May 19, 2007

Memorial Weekend, Recital Weekend



In an effort to catch up with our latest events, and keep them chronologically ordered, this post is backdated to correspond to Memorial Day Weekend. This will bring us up to speed with the highlight of this month: Moody's seventh birthday!


Friday was dress rehearsal. It was at 5 pm, at the Veterans Memorial downtown. Sol and I had to leave work early. Tala and Moody had to be fully dressed just like they'd be in the recital day. We were at the rehearsal till past 8 pm. Both kids did pretty well. The teachers first bring the class out to stage and shows each child where their place would be following color-coded marks on the floor. Then, the class will go backstage and come out with the music to rehearse the number. Tala just stood there, pouting, when a girl took her spot. The teacher came to the rescue and everything went as planned.



Moody was the only boy in his Hip Hop class. Most classes had one boy with many girls. He did so well that the teacher said "Where did that come from, Moody!" He doesn't pay much attention in class and pretends he's tired most of the time.

On Saturday, we headed to the Vet Memorial at 10 am. Tala was in the noon show and Moody in the 2 pm show. We spent the whole day there, till 5 pm. The shows are very nice and interesting to watch. The dancers are from all ages starting at 3 all the way to 17 years old. Of course, the younger dancers each does their own moves and follows their own rhythm--the fruit of one full year of practice! The older ones are very good and in sync with the group.

We rushed home to make it in time for our next outing. Sol and I were going to the Sherrys' international night. I promised to make some Libyan food, which did not happen. Instead, we stopped by Aladin's on the way home; picked trays of falafel and dolma. They were 'mm 'mm good! We got home and Madi, the babysitter, arrived shortly after. We promised her to be back around 11; we got back at 1 am! It was a fun day and night!
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Thursday, May 17, 2007

Birth of the albino tarantula

The other day, the boys in the lab (literally) cooked up a beauty. It looks like an albino tarantula, or maybe one that fell in a bottle of bleach.


So I thought, what would happen if I inverted the image? Well, the result is a radioactive looking beast that belongs in a science fiction movie.


What should we name the movie? It looks like the beast is crawling out the chimney of a ship. Maybe it was a normal spider that fell in the nuclear reactor of a ship? Spiderman 4? I just tested my idea on Tala, and she said, "It looks like an onion." Go figure!

Sunday, May 13, 2007

It's Mother's Day!


The highlight of our spring has been SHOPPING! Never-ending shopping! Two weekends ago, we shopped for bikes for the kids. It was hard to find what we wanted. We started at Bike Source, our favorite, which turned out ridiculously expensive for kids' bikes, followed by trips to Meijer's, WalMart, Toys'R'Us. If you need bikes, go to Toys'R'Us. Very good bikes, decent price. Moody got a Schwinn, Tala got a Groove Girl bike. Tala rides so slowly, which makes it hard to ride with her. Last weekend, I rode with her and it was fine. I didn't have to stop my bike, just had to go slow. She's progressing.

We have been shopping for a grill for sometime, and we finally found what we wanted last weekend. It is coming home today. It would make perfect Mother's Day BBQ. Yesterday, I went clothes and shoes shopping for the kids. It was so nice outside, that I hated every minute I was at the mall... And I was there for 3 hours! I got sandals and flip flops for the kids assuming their sizes have not changed much since the last time we bought shoes a few months back. Well, we had to make a trip back because Moody's were too small for his feet. He grew from size 1 to 2 in few months! I promised to never buy shoes for the kids without them there to try on. Everybody got clothes, and I got only two pairs of shoes!

We are not only blessed with a nanny with a dog, but also with neighbors with a dog. Jake is our next-door neighbor's. He is so funny and cute. Very hyper! The minute he comes out, he runs straight to our yard looking for the kids. The owners are blessed too to have neighbors with kids the dog can play with--that's us!

Moody has been refusing to listen to Alicja and follow her instructions. When they ride the bikes to the park, Alicja has to stay with Tala at Tala's pace. Moody is supposed to stop every now and then and wait for them and never to disappear from their sight. Well, that does not happen. Every time, he takes off and goes out of Alicja's sight. On Friday, he walked out of the house without telling her and went to Chris's house. Later when she drove him to school, he took off from the parking lot and wouldn't wait for her. She couldn't find him immediately, but knew that he went inside the school. She had Tala and Bodo and was not allowed to go in the school with them. I got a call from school saying that Moody was dropped off at 12, an hour before his class starts, and needs to be picked up. Alicja didn't answer the phone since she left it in the car to chase after Moody, and Sol didn't answer either. I started to freak out not knowing what happened and why was Moody there an hour earlier. I told the school that they would just have to keep him in the office.

He's now grounded. He can't ride his bike, we took away his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, he lost watching TV and movies, and he's going to a day care starting Monday. We warned him before that if he doesn't cooperate with Alicja, he will end up in a day care and Tala would stay home with Alicja. I signed him up in the day care on Friday. He would be going there in the morning, then to school and back from school, till we pick him up late evening. He knows that he would lose all his freedom, the fun things, and fun trips he would have if he's home. He begged for another chance, but he blew all his chances. He will saty in the day care till June 8. He will then have a 2-week trial period with Alicja to prove that he learnt his lesson, or he would be back in the day care for the whole summer.


Scattered thoughts/events:
  • Mrs. Jay, Moody's teacher, went on maternity leave. Moody misses her.
  • The gym has closed for good. What a loss! We need to find an alternative for an outdoors pool in our area.
  • Mama is in Lebanon visiting Ennis and Juju. How very nice and thoughtful of her. She's been visiting them every year.
  • Moody lost his glasses. It takes a week to order new ones. He's due for an exam on Monday.
  • The gutter in the back of the house fell down but remains hanging from one end. We don't know when or how that happened, just discovered it last week. It's probably the storm and strong wind we had that time.
  • I keep thinking that Moody is growing and things will get better for him--and us. But he grows, and his problems grow with him and take another dimension. Is it ever going to get better? Will we ever get a break?

Happy Mother's Day!


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Sunday, April 29, 2007

Springin' Into Spring!

Last week, Moody lost 3 teeth one-a-day in a row. Sweet caring Shamsa made the trip all 3 nights leaving behind her fairy dust. The first tooth Moody lost that week was his fourth. We did the gift, the fairy dust, note and everything as usual. The second day, he lost another one, and our thought was: What have we gotten ourselves into! So we told him that Shamsa brings gifts for the first four teeth only. After that, she only brings a silver dollar and a note for every tooth. It is a lot of work to make Shamsa come, especially if we are not prepared. A last-minute trip to the store, wrapping the gift, writing the note, setting them up with the fairy dust in his room. And of course, we have to wait till Moody falls asleep, which he does not do easily when waiting for Shamsa. Every time Shamsa visits, he wakes us up around 2 or 3am to tell us what she got him! That time, he told me the next day that the wrapping paper looks familiar. I didn't comment, so he added, "I have seen it in the storage area. You think Shamsa stole it from there?"

Last week was also picture day at Straub Dance Center. ALicja dressed Tala, made her makeup and hair. I missed being there. Soccer and T-Ball are in full swing. T-Ball is nice, but it means dirt and dirt and dirt riding back home with us. The kids are just fascinated by the dirt and you find them perched on the ground playing with it, or throwing it up in the air to fall on their heads. All that while the coach is talking to the team and coaching them! I was watching Tala playing with the dirt during practice; she then took her baseball hat off, filled it with dirt, and before I could yell out to her, she put it back on her head!

We've been having terrific weather on the weekends, rainy during the week. It works perfectly fine for us. We worked on the yard last weekend. Cleaned it up, spread the mulch, mowed the grass, etc. The yard looks nice now, and the flower beds clean. Of course, it is not spring without rabbits eating my plants and flowers as they sprout off the ground. I used to whoosh them away, but I came to terms with them. The plants eventually outgrow the rabbits, so I let nature take its course.


Work is evolving so smoothly. I have been placed in direct contact with the industrial world for the first time in my life. I'm learning quite a big deal, especially that last week was the suppliers visits to our offices, which involved presentation of their companies, products and history. I now know a lot about forgings, gearboxes, couplings, gas generators, compressors, air filters... A totally new world to me coming from a culture that imports and consumes out of boxes with no second thought to how things came to be. Additionally, I'm taking the Lean Enterprise class and it includes visits to plants and value stream mapping. On Friday, we went to Kaiser Aluminum, and I saw LIQUID metal being poured and casted into humongous rods, then pressed and extruded into billets of hexagonal shape that is later forged into different pieces for use in the automobile industry... and the little buttons on your jeans' pockets. A whole new world!

A new planet! And what do they call it? Gliese 581c! Couldn't they be a bit more romantic. It is in constellation Libra, circulating a red dwarf. Its surface temperature of 32 to 104°F makes it Earth-like and potentially habitable. Very exciting news! A break from the sad news coming from all corners of Earth. The bad news about this planet is that it takes 20 years to travel to it IF we travel at the speed of light. Imagine the possibilities!

It's a beautiful day outside... I'm outta here to enjoy it!

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Happy Birthday, Rahaf!

Rahaf (left) and Ru'a. Cairo, Egypt, 2007

Rahaf Kambaraki, my niece, Noha's daughter. Born in Benghazi, April 20, 1997. She is 10 today. Yoohoo! She is celebrating her birthday with chickenpox! Hope you get better soon sweetie!

Happy Birthday!


Friday, April 06, 2007

Seasonal Confusion!

It's that time of the year. One day it's 80°F(27°C) and sunny, the next it's below 30°F (-1°C) and snowing. The last 2 weekends, we had wonderful weather. We went to the park, on bike rides, and got to clean the front yard. It all ended this Wednesday when it went back to freezing. It's been snowing since then; not much, but disappointing and annoying enough! We need to clean the back yard, spread the mulch, mow the lawn. But that ain't going to happen in this weather! Last week after class, I was walking out with a friend. As soon as we exited the building, we were greeted with the smell of freshly-spread mulch. Simultaneously, my friend said "phewee!" And I said, "aaaah!" She couldn't understand why I like such a smell, I told her it's the association of the smell with spring. I don't think she got it still :)

Soccer season started few weeks back. But because of the weather, Moody had 2 practices only, and Tala none. Moody's practice always fell on muddy or chilly days. Tala's sessions were cancelled for the bad weather. The kids are in Spring break this week and would resume school on Monday. They have been having a blast with Alicja; rain, snow, or shine, they're doing something fun.

Moody is reading chapter books! On Tuesdays, he brings from school two books in a Ziploc bag. They call it Bag-a-Book. Children would read the books at home with the help of their parents and then rate the books in the sheet provided, take them back to school the next Tuesday, and read them to the teacher. Usually, Moody reads the books to us with no help. Few weeks ago, the teacher took Moody to the second-grade class so he would pick books from that level. Way to go Moody!

We have been doing so well with the change in our schedule since I started work. It's been smooth. I'm still at the discovery stage at work, from both ends. I like it very much though, and I'm excited to go to work every morning. The only thing that I still have to get used to is the drive. I drive 102 miles (163 km) a day on Mon., Wed., Thur., and some Fridays from home, to work, to school, to home; and 66 miles (106 km) a day on the rest of the week. It's a bit tiring still, but I'm enjoying my time alone. The drive from home to work is on a semi-country road, driving by fields and farms and treed areas. The signs of Spring are evident in the change of colors and landscape as trees and flowers are blooming, and empty fields are starting to fill.

Moody had been wanting to go to Meet the Robinsons and I promised him that for the weekend. Yesterday, Alicjia called me at work and said Moody was begging to go to the movie. Since they both had been really good with her, I told her to take them and visit Mr. Bunny if he's still there and take some pictures. The movie was 3-D. They had a blast--followed by ice cream and a visit to the Easter Bunny! Today, Good Friday, is a holiday at work, but I had a guest-speaker class in the morning. I came home around noon. The kids were happy to see me, though Tala had a mixed reaction to the change in routine. I kept asking them what they wanted to do and suggested many places we could go to and things we can do, but they wanted to stay home and watch a movie. I was all for that myself! We cuddled up on the sofa, and watched Finding Nemo. I had a good nap watching the movie :)

Weather permitting, we will go to the Egg Hunt at Highbanks Park tomorrow morning. I doubt it though; It's snowing heavily now, big nice flakes! I could do some shopping instead, and we could finish our search for a grill.


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Saturday, March 31, 2007

In Memory of...

The last two months marked the departure of some dear ones I have grown up around and known for almost all my life.


Houston, Texas, June 14, 2001
Abdelmajid Bugazia
On March 28, we lost 3amo Abdelmajid Bugazia, an old and dear friend of the family and my father. Although I didn't remember him personally before coming to the US, I've known and heard a lot about him. Apparently, he left Libya when I was very young to remember him. He was very dear to Baba. In June, 2001, I flew to Texas specifically to spend the weekend with him and abla Nazeeha. It was a pleasant time and worth the visit. He kept recalling the times when he knew me as a very little girl.

Houston, Texas, June 14, 2001
Incidentally, he was a friend of Elio, the Benghazino-Greek, and that brought on my meeting with Elio and my stay in Greece. He has a daughter, Najla, whom he was very proud of, and didn't hide it. He was telling me all the time that I am like his daughter Najla, intelligent, determined, and successful. I was so touched. My heart goes out to his family, in the US and Libya, and specifically to abla Nazeeha who had spent with him 56 years.

This is the email message I received from Baba:

"الأخ الكريم السيد عبد المجيد بو جازية انتقل الى رحمة الله تعالى يوم 28 الجارى رحمه الله رحمة واسعة وانا لله وانا البه راجعون والفاتحة على روحه الطاهرة"



Sadaina Staita

On March, my maternal grandaunt Sadaina Staita passed away. Khalty Sadaina was a very interesting, very intellectual lady despite her limited literacy. She was a poet, and a thinker, among many other things. She had a special place in my heart, and I know I did in hers. I felt closer to her than to my grandmother. Maybe because she lived in Banghazi while my grandmother lived in Derna and I didn't get to see her much. We used to visit Khalty Sadaina and spend lovely evenings with her and her daughters abla Nagiba and abla Soad Staita. I always adored and admired her daughters Nagiba, Soad, and Fathia for their sophistication, intellectuality and manners.

There's a funny story behind khalty Sadaina's name. She was the fourth daughter. The first one, was named Zainab (she is the mother of Mustafa el-Bteir of Angham al-Shalal band); the second, Hamida, which means thanked for; the third (my grandmother), Magboola, which means "accepted"; and the fourth, Sadaina, which means "we've had enough!"

Last year, I started the process of approaching khalty Sadaina to feature her in Tibra. Abla Nagiba told me it was not going to be easy to convince her to accept, but she will try her best. I never got to following up on that and pursuing it seriously... while she was still with us. I still hope to feature her someday.



Badi'a al-Hesadi
On February, an old family friend, Abla Badi'a al-Hesadi passed away. Abla Badi'a, was the wife of 3amo Yousef, and mother of Nisreen, Narjes, and Ryad al-Hesadi. We kind of grew up toghether. I have a lot of memories visiting them and spending times with the girls, who were about Fairouz's and my age, on their balcony while our parents visited in the living room inside. We grew away through the years, after moving out of Libya and marriage. However, Baba and 3amo Yousef never lost contact. I believe their friendship goes back to their college days in Egypt, if not to before then in Derna. I don't think one day passes by without them getting together. Abla Badi'a was relatively young--a victim of cancer.



People leave, but their memories remain. Those people were part of my life at some point or the other, and the three of them left an impression somehow. I wanted to write about them, to document their memory and make sure it remains. Hope they are all resting in peace and their memories are cherished by their loved ones!
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Sunday, March 25, 2007

Libyan Mental TV... Blog!



Very original and unique blog. There are two videos on the blog so far. Both are hilarious and funny as hell. The videos are a depiction of today's Libya and its youth--with all the contradiction there is! It might not be representative, but still it is part of life in Libya; a part not publicized and not much heard about though a lot know it is there. I hope they make more videos. Go ahead, visit the blog, you'll like it. The headbanger got me big time... I can't get over it, a Libyan headbanger!
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Saturday, March 24, 2007

B-Day Delights!


Ayman, Amel, and Safoo


It seems like life is really different after forty. There is calm, there's content, and most of all, there's more self confidence. My birthday this year had been very pleasant and tranquil. I am so touched by how everyone important in my life wished me a happy birthday in a completely different way. What else could one wish for but to be surrounded by wonderful thoughtful husband, children, parents, siblings, nephews and nieces! It is not the physical closeness that matters, but the connect and the tie that surpasses the chronological and geographical separation.

Yesterday, I received my first e-card from Baba. It's animated. I played it over and over, and over, and... I couldn't capture the animation itself to save it, so I just added the text to the card image. I can now read it over, and over, and over... I was in tears when my parents, Noha and her gang called me at work and sang Happy Birthday. I got home, and found a phone message from them singing again!


Shosho greeted me in the morning with this post on her blog. Later when I was leaving work, She and Fairouz called me on the phone. I got home and found A FedEx package on the kitchen island. Inside it was this beautifully-wrapped, nice-smelling gift that had "fairy dust" all over it. It was from Elmagris wrapped by Shosho!

I got an email from Lui saying : "... wish u have a gr8 year full of joy success and happyness and i just realized some how we both are the oldest :P..." Hold, on, I though. I'm not the oldest; what's he saying. I read on, "... since u r ma oldest aunt and im ur oldest nephew." A ha!

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Friday, March 23, 2007

Happy First, Hannu (after forty)!

Hana A. Naas

Born: Wednesday, 23 March 1966, Tripoli, Libya.

Yep, Hannu is now officially in her forties, plural, not just forty! From all of us: Happy birthday, Hannu! We love you always.

This is also a good opportunity for some catching up and updating. Today completes Hannu's third week at work, and the fourth week of having the nanny with the kids. Things are finally starting to settle down around here, just as they start revving up again for the next cycle. Spring quarter starts Monday, and the kids soccer/T-ball pre-season practices already started.

Hannu started work on the last week of classes, so it was a little bit of a rcoky start. Having finals and starting a new job is quite stressful, no doubt! On school days, Hana has to get up at 5:30 am, drive almost an hour to work, then drive straight to school, and ultimately get home after 8 pm for a quick bite before our special time of G&G--gurma and green tea. Incidentally, one side benefit of entering a new environment is getting new gurma material. We can give all the bloggers a break now, lol lol. Hana and I both have low blood pressure, and she thinks it has to do with our regular drinking of green tea. I tell her it's not the tea, it's the gurma ya Hannu! :)))

In a tornado some things get picked up, and others get dropped. On week two of having the nanny, Ahmed decided to drop her cell phone in the fish bowl so Gus the fish can talk to him. The next day, Tala decided Gus needed to have a little refreshment, so she got the lemon juice bottle and gave him a few squirts. Luckily Alecja was nearby and got to Gus before he turned into Sushi. So, on some level Hana's transition seemed like a gradual change, but I knew better than anyone that it wasn't just another step. I wanted to write about it on Hannu's first day at work, but I wasn't quite ready... Then I had drafted a post that talked a little bit about Hana's professional background, only to see her beat me to the punch. But there are still some things to say...

When we first got married, Hana did not have any desire to get a job, even though she had worked before and actually had done quite well. Her last job before coming to the US had been the one in Greece, which she already wrote about but left out something interesting, which I'll tell you because it relates to how proud I am of my wife. While in Greece, Hana's family friend and Lebanon neighbor, Uncle Lameen took her to meet an interesting guy. Good old Uncle Elio (or maybe Elihu) is a Greek guy, born and raised in Benghazi, then forced to leave when it was fashionable for Arab dictators to dress like Nazis and oppress! In Elio's case, they could take the boy out of the country, but they couldn't take the country out of the boy. Elio is 'Ayyel Blad, a Benghazi homeboy all the way. Hana said, at dinner, Elio was chatting with Uncle Lameen about old acquaintances in a perfect Benghazi accent, as though he'd never left, remembering gurma details like...like a Libyan, OK? "Aaah, so and so married the son of such and such, had many kids, and her step-cousin from her mother's side was caught selling moonshine in Birka,..." Old Elio left a strong impression on Hannu because of the genuine pride he showed when he found out she was hired from Benghazi to help the Greeks on a technical problem. "'Allimeehum!" he would say emphatically (teach them!), "Warreehum!" (show them!). I don't think he'd ever met her before, but she probably represented every curly haired, chubby little girl in the Benghazi he loved and never lost. Oh, what he might say now!

After having the kids and staying home a while, Hannu (Ms. zerbaza) started to change her mind about working. A little over two years ago, we decided she would go to graduate school, get a degree and enter the job market. She wasn't sure at first what she wanted to study, especially since her BS degree was in computer science and she had really drifted away from the technical side and more into the management side. Of course, I knew from day one :-) her real passion was project management, even though I didn't push her one way or the other. I also knew that she could compete at the highest level in any graduate business school. At first, Hana was a little cautious, maybe a little apprehensive or scared even, and she needed to take little reassurance steps. So she started taking evening continuing education classes for warm up. She took French, then some business communications classes, and she had a great time. She was ready and felt ready then. She started her evening MBA program almost two years ago, and she will graduate in August, right around Tala's birthday. What a life lesson for Tala and Ahmed. I hope they always remember, Mom finished her degree just as they were starting their schooling. I could talk to them until I am blue in the face about determination, the desire to learn and grow, independence, self regeneration, etc. Or I could say, look at Mom!

I wouldn't say it's been an easy ride, but it has been a good ride. I generally like to see the process of learning and personal growth around me, that's why I like teaching. But seeing growth in the ones you love is a whole 'nother' thing all together. I never had a shred of doubt. Hannu is an A student in a ranked, fiercely competitive program. She has been active in and out of the classroom, awarded one competitive scholarship, currently in the running for a Pace Setter Award, and the Fisher School's magazine wants to run a piece on her. If you think I'm proud, you're damn right I am, but not at all surprised! I knew from day one, :-) and I know there is a lot more to come.

A couple weeks ago, the Libyan government decided to weather balloon a ban on women under 40 from traveling without a chaperon. They have since reversed their apparent position, but not before a lot of public reaction to the move, both for and against. Now, most publicized actions of the Libyan government are orchestrated acts for pure publicity, nothing else, and this whole affair may be no exception. But it still brought out some of the caveman mentality that still permeates Libyan culture. Another reason for suspecting the whole affair is that the law and practice of banning women from traveling solo is really nothing new. Of course, there has never been a law banning young males from traveling abroad and doing as they please, or for some of them, doing as much as they can afford in the red light districtis of Valetta, Cairo or Timbuktu. That's why some people say the travel ban is designed to "protect" women, meaning protect them from the kind of behavior that they accept for men. I'll be damned! Do they know that a virtue untested is a weak virtue? Do they know the meaning and taste of being an independent, self-made, self-respecting individual? They really don't know because their life experience never taught them the difference between a dependant and an equal partner. That also means, they never experienced true love, the one that comes by choice not through need, dependency or circumstance. That's the reality of the crippling mud that Libyan women must wade through to get a taste of self realization. Therefore, today, kiss a Libyan woman near you! And to every one who strives toward higher and higher levels of self respect, starting with my Hannu, say after me: 'Allimeehum, Warreehum!



Wednesday, March 21, 2007

From Ennis!

مَلَكٌ يَرِفُّ عَلى سَريري
يَحْنُوْ بأَنْفَاِس الْعِبيرِ
سِرُّ الإلَهِ بِمُقْلَتَيْهِ
وَنَعيِمُهُ في راحَتَيْهِ
أغْلَى مِنَ الدُّنْيَا عَلَيَّا
وأَحَبُّ مَخْلُوقٍ إلَيَّا
أفْدِي الْمَلاكَ السَّاهِرا
قَلْباً عَلَيَّ ونَاَظِراَ
لَو كُنْتُ يوماً شَاعِرا
أَبْدَعْتُ أَجْمَلَ ما تُغَنِّي
عُصْفُورَةٌ في مِثْلِ سِنِّي
وَسَقَيْتُ ضُوَءَ الْفَجْرِ لحني
وحمَلْتُ أُغْنِيَتي لأُمي
أَحْلى أَنَاشيِد الْهَوى قُبُلاتُ أَمِّي
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Mother's Day

The kindest face I'll ever see,
The kindest voice I'll ever hear.
The one who cares the most for me
Is my own mother dear.

All through the year
I'll try to do
The things that show
My love for you.
And not be happy just to say,
"I love you, Mother," on Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day!
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Thursday, March 15, 2007

Happy Birthday, Nahla!



My little sister, Nahla is 24! She got married last August to Omar, and she is now expecting! I have not seen her wedding pictures yet... so the whole thing is not real for me.

Happy Birthday!
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Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Equality Not!

Recently, there had been a lot of discussion on Libyan blogs, and other pages, of a new Libyan law that bans women under 40 from traveling without mahrem. So, what’s new? What’s all this commotion about? This law is no surprise at all—not one little bit.

I have experienced gender discrimination first-hand in Libya, and in more than one occasion. Let me first set the stage before going into the story of discrimination so you see the ludicrousness of it all.

During my transition from Lebanon to the US back in 1998, I decided to go to Libya and spend some time with my family. I quit my job with Temenos SA as a senior project manager. Temenos, however, didn’t want to let go of me, and offered to hire me as a consultant and send me in short assignments as needed.

One of the assignments was in Greece. Everybody in Benghazi, and their mothers, knew about it. Why? How? Temenos and Informer applied for a visa on my behalf and sent details about my contract with them and the pay to the Greek Consulate in Benghazi. The peeps at the consulate found it amazing that a Swiss and a Greek companies were hiring a consultant—a woman—from Libya and paying her so much on top of covering all her expenses. It was unheard of!

Another assignment was in Egypt, and it was Temenos’ first attempt to introduce Globus there and gain a share in the Egyptian market. The Egyptians sang high and low of how proud they were to see a fellow Arab woman coming in with a European company.

In all the projects I was assigned to, I led meetings with the highest executives in the banks; I conducted demos and training sessions; I led implementation projects. I stayed at hotels in different countries, sometimes for extended periods of time. My professional status and my professionalism was all that mattered to the people around me. I was treated with respect at all times and by all I interacted with.

On my way out of Libya, a second-cousin of mine, Hamooda, drove me to Djerba from Tripoli. At the Libyan border, he instructed me to say that he was a taxi driver, if asked, and not a cousin. He said we could be held and delayed if they found he was my cousin—he was not a mahrem! Oh, I got it, a taxi driver is OK, but a cousin is not? Makes perfect sense!

Come November of 1998, and it was time for me to go back to Libya and head for the US shortly after. I was flying from Athens to Tunisia and then by road to Libya. It was the time of sanctions against Libya. As it happened, 3amo Lamin, a good and old family friend, was traveling on the same flight. It was a pleasant coincidence. I grew very close to amo Lamin and his family while I lived in Lebanon and they became a family to me. Once in Djerba, my ride, Hamooda, didn’t show up, so we took a taxi to Tripoli. We arrived there at the early hours of am, 2 or so. I was supposed to go to sister Fairouz’s but didn’t know the way. I was not familiar with Tripoli. We drove around in Gergaresh for a while, but I couldn’t recognize any landmarks that would lead us to Fairouz’s house, so we headed to a hotel.

At the hotel, the he-receptionist refused to check me in, insisting it was against the law to provide a room to a woman with no mahrem. Amo Lamin offered to give me his room once he was checked in, but the clerk announced that he would call the police if that happened. We got him to wake the manager up hoping he would be more helpful… We were wrong. The manager apologized profoundly and sincerely for there was nothing he could do. He offered me to sit in the lobby till 6am when the breakfast buffet opens, and offered breakfast on him. How generous! I sat there, and amo Lamin refused to go to his room and stayed with me. He couldn’t go and rest knowing that I can’t have that, he said.

I was so humiliated and belittled. In my home country, I was merely a prostitute or a sex-seeking creature until proven otherwise! Now you tell me, would anything surprise me coming from that rotten place called Libya?

Dear Um Dania, before you sing away how wonderful Libya is, how much freedom and respect Libyan women enjoy, and how blessed and privileged they are to live in Libya; please think about this story. Soad, my dear, care not what others think of you, especially the hateful ignorant ones; care what you think of yourself! To my other fellow Libyan females: Stand up for your rights and the rights of all of us Libyan women. Even if it's the right to call a jackass a jackass to his face. Demand that we be respected as complete human beings. Respect never stems from submission or cowardice.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Happy Birthday, Sol!


Sol is 47... well 48, but really 47.

This picture is from his fishing trip in Minnesota back in September 2003. I arranged the surprise trip for him with our dear friend Bagzi. Wish he could go again!



Happy Birthday!
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Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Hey, Bedouin!


May you have all your heart's desires! One of them is the gift I'm still trying to locate... Bear with me as it could be quite some time before I can find it! In the meantime, here's a picture of a daylily called Bedouin Bride... May we see you a bride soon.

Happy birthday, my friend!
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Thursday, February 15, 2007

Know Thy World!

An article titled Americans, Know Thy World on Blogcritics Magazine provides a size comparison for countries of the world to cities and states in the US. I am frequently asked how large Libya is. Now, I know it is one-sixth larger than Alaska. This map, which shows Alaska's real relative size, gives a very clear idea of Libya's relative size to the US.

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Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day!

Schools still closed! OSU too! The snow storm is continuing on!

Moody and Tala were so disappointed that school is cancelled. They both have Valentine's Day parties planned in their class. They were hugging and kissing me and Sol in the morning all loving and wishing us a "Happy Valentine's Day!" I told them not to get upset, we will have our own party. Moody said, "We will even make our own decorations." Immediately, they got out their crafts kit and started cutting out hearts, decorating them, and hanging them around the house.

Hoping you're having a lovely Valentine's Day and surrounded by loving angels like we are!

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Here is Heba!

Heba Swisey, Sol's sweet niece! She surprised me today with her blog. I was planning on introducing her later this week, but she beat me with her blog! I'm so happy she did.

She is an artist too--a very talented one!

Below is Heba's painting of her late aunt Rabeia Dregia, Sol's little sister. Rabeia was born in March, 1963 and died in December, 1984 of complications after a fire accident she was in. This is the only picture I have seen of Rabeia. Sol's mom talked about her a lot when she visited us in 2000, all the time with tears rolling down her eyes. It is very sad, but c'est la vie. People come and go, but their loving memories forever stay. Thank you Heba for sharing this painting. It is very special!



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Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Introducing Aiman

Aiman Abdul Naser Swisey. He's Sol's nephew, of his sister Amna. Aiman turned 12 last November. Recently, I have been communicating with his sister, Heba, via email and Yahoo! messenger. I didn't have any contact with them before, not even by phone since they didn't have one. And the only time I met them was at our wedding in Djerba, 1998. Aiman is a very special boy, it was obvious then when he was only 4. Sol has a special place in his heart for Amna and her kids, especially Aiman and Heba.

Heba told me about Aiman's talent and how good he is with his hands and digital art. This post is to showcase some of his work. Sol has never seen these images before--I hope you are pleasnently and proudly surprised!



This is my favorite. I laughed so much when I saw it. Heba told that they found him laughing so hard when he was drawing it.




Aiman is a fan of Abdelhalim Hafed. Remember him? Very interesting!




Aiman takes his playdough wherever he goes. He was visiting the Aviation Exhibition last December, in Tripoli, when he made this Spiderman and placed it on the airplane miniature.

And of course, Superheroes!








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