Sunday, August 15, 2010

Welcome Back, Chaos!

Fruits from my garden!
School starts next week, August 25th. Generations starts next week, August 23rd. Tala's birthday is next week, August 26th. All day today, I've been filling forms: school forms, sports forms, dance forms, medical-leave forms, insurance forms; and populating the electronic calendar with all sorts of important days and dates. We will be at Generation 4 days a week this year. And, oh yeah, what do I do with my days? Nothing, I just sit on my bahookie ordering people. For example, I was ordering people all day long today and enjoyed hearing everyone give me the typical "Why me?" I finally got to stop ordering people and did something useful--for a change. I prepared myself a delicious falafel sandwich. And BTW, it's almost 2 pm and my last meal was around 8 am, and I am supposed to have about 6 meals a day to stop losing weight. Well, who cares... or more of who thinks it's important!

I'm spearheading a Eid potluck at work. I visited this middle eastern catering place yesterday to make arrangements and had my fill of tasting their yummy food. I could not resist but come back with loads of food.

It is time to revive Tibra. I asked Sol last night "How do I recruit people to help with Tibra? I need a website designer, a developer and an administrator. Do I make an announcement in the Libyan sites?" Here's how the conversation went--or more died:

Sol: No, it won't work.
Hannu: So, how do I do it?
So: Just let it go. You don't have the time and there's no input to Tibra from anywhere. You can't do it alone.
Hannu (eyes foggy with tears): But I can't let it go! It is my worth. Tibra is part of what I'm worth.

I stopped there when my eyes welled up and tears started streaming down! I hate it when I know there's so much I can do, but feel my hands are tied and need to depend on external factors to accomplish what I want. I'm disappointed how Tibra took to a halt with my ailment. I hate it that people still associate me with Tibra and still praise me for the work I do through Tibra, even though I have not done anything in 3 years! Maybe Tibra has a guardian angel that will reach out to me before it's too late?!

The other day at the James', I sat across a huge sign with Bernie Speyer's picture and his quote ‎"I'm having a good time with life. I've learned to accept my role, find pleasure in my blessings and take advantage of my opportunities." Bernie is the #1 famous Buckeye fan... Real famous! You may read more about him here: For more than 65 years, the Buckeye football team could count on Bernie Speyer’s support. Today, Bernie counts on the Buckeyes.I love his quote so much that I posted it on my Facebook and on my office door at work. Partly because it resonates with me, and partly because some people from work and outside wrote me off already as dying if not dead. Some people come across that way, even though they have the good intentions and just trying to be nice and sympathize. But I don't need sympathy, and I definitely do not need people to be nice to me, or to treat me differently, because I am sick. Sick people are humans, they make mistakes, they could be nice at times, and they could be as mean as could be at other times. If I was a jerk to someone, I want them to still consider me a jerk and hate my guts unless something I did or said convinced them otherwise; not because something happened to me. Sick or not, I am who I am!

I repeat after Bernie...

I continue to find pleasure in my blessings and take advantage of my opportunities.

And I will continue!

Kudos to Bernie, Kudos to me... Yes, I believe in me! Repeat after me...


  1. I did repeat lol

    Tibra will always be you, inshaAllah you start it again soon.

  2. Yes you are who you are and I happen to think you are wonderful, I'm very happy to have you as my fb friend and I admire your spirit.

  3. I must side with Sol on this one for the following reason: Tibra was supposed to be a "community project" It seems to me that almost everything that this project needed has been, and is still available, except the community. I have a feeling that those tears were not for the Tibra project as much as they were for a dead community. Having said that, I think that the spotlight program has a much better chance of surviving on its own, sadly because it does not involve the "community" much. If all else fails, it has been a good run and you'll always be Tibra Libyana.

  4. loving the bob babes!

    Kul sana wa inti taybeh..

  5. Yes, Azzam, a dead comunity! Now you made me cry... Tibra Libyana: 2 words full of life, meaning, memories, friendship and much more! I love those days!

    Hi, Shi-Shi. How are you habooba and Ayad? Ramadan kareem!